Thankful They Don't Celebrate Thanksgiving Often
by Foxtroter
Summary: Prompt: A funny moment while cooking or eating Thanksgiving dinner Fireteam Bulwark don't like to stick around and celebrate holidays all that much. But, this year they decided to try and celebrate Thanksgiving. Shenanigans ensue.


If you had the fortune (or in some cases, misfortune) of knowing the members of Fireteam Bulwark, a few things become very apparent very quickly. It was obvious that the Warlock had a tendency to be quite sarcastic and argumentative, the Hunter was just distant and incredibly blunt (to the point of rudeness, which he protests against being every time someone mentions it), while the Titan had a personality akin to a overactive puppy. It was also quite obvious that, while the trio had a tendency to clash due to their vastly different personalities, they were incredibly close and always had each other's backs.

It was also very apparent that none of them really liked to stay in one place very long, one of the only things that they all shared in common. They were adventurers and warriors, always ready to go somewhere new and ready to fight the battles that needed to be fought. They rarely spent longer than 3 days anywhere, unless it was absolutely necessary for them to stay longer. They always had some sort of activity planned, some new adventure brewing, bounties to collect… Through any weather or issue, any terrain or enemy, and any time of the year. Honestly, it didn't seem like they knew what a break even was.

It was no wonder it was shocking to hear that they would actually be spending some time in the City to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday.

"Guess we just realized we never really celebrate stuff?"The Titan shrugged when asked what caused them to actually celebrate something and take a break,"We have a lot to be thankful for, even if Faldosai and Ethan try to act like they don't! Plus the Vanguard kinda forced us to chill out…"

* * *

The group did have some trouble adjusting to not having enemies to fight (other than the Crucible of course, but they were also told to not do that too much 'because you need to actually enjoy the holiday! Eat food! Do some not-murder things!') and not having some big adventure to embark on. Faldosai found solace in the vast archives the Tower had, taking the time to broaden his knowledge of the history of the Awoken and learning more tricks about being a Warlock. Ethan wandered around, not really knowing what to do and not being friendly enough to talk to others (he usually just ended up at Banshee-44's shop area, dismantling and recreating his weapons and practicing with those he never truly used). Akata-9 never found it hard to keep himself entertained, especially considering how much more energetic and friendly the Exo was compared to his teammates.

They found a temporary rhythm that way, but they all knew that they just wanted the holiday to come and go so they could finally return to their usual routine. They knew their usual routine since, well, it was how they operated.

They knew that the Vanguard would probably check up on them to make certain they actually relax on the holiday. The only problem was that none of them really knew how any of the typical 'Thanksgiving' things worked, but all three were way too stubborn and proud to admit to something like that.

Which, in a turn of events that would shock absolutely no one, lead to quite the disaster.

* * *

The first mistake that was made was allowing Akata-9 be the chef for the meal. The Exo didn't have need to eat, so he never found a good reason to cook. The other two didn't bother stopping him, knowing full and well that it would be a disaster no matter who cooked (plus, though a pair of jerks to most everyone they've ever interacted with, they could never find the heart to try and stop Akata-9 from doing something that made him positively radiate with excitement and happiness).

The second mistake occurred when Ethan had to be sent to gather more ingredients after Akata-9 had managed to ruin 3/4ths of them in a matter of minutes, before any cooking had even really started. Ethan had a tendency to drown out Faldosai when he began talking too much, which caused him to figuratively shoot his own foot as he missed information on what ingredients were needed. He just grabbed what seemed to be correct, and off they went.

The third mistake was allowing Faldosai to try and prepare dessert while Akata-9 did the majority of the actual food, as the Awoken had a tendency to take things in a very literal and scientific way. He also really liked to experiment when he was allowed to do cooking, which always lead to very disastrous results,

It was a miracle they managed to finish cooking, let alone make food that even looked remotely edible. The actual edibility of the food remains to be seen.

Or, well, it would have been if they had decided to actually eat the food. Akata-9 loved to mess around, and never had really intended to eat his food. He also didn't intend for all of it to end up on Ethan. The Hunter was, to put it simply, very unhappy about it.

It started as a food fight amongst the team and ended with the Vanguard having to chew out a decent portion of the sector they resided in, most of the Guardians there being covered in various substances that may have resembled food at one point; before Supers and weapons got involved and it escalated to a Crucible-style food fight.

It wasn't the team's usual type of battle and adventure, but it was close enough and was satisfactory for them. They decided they'd continue to give it another go eventually.

Once the Vanguard decided to allow them to cook anywhere near the City again, or allow them to even say the word 'Thanksgiving'.


End file.
